★Dangerous days

★Dangerous days
It was a cold day in the summer vacation. I sat in our school library thinking about someone. He is a father of three and my foreign language teacher.
I have had a crush on him since the first time we met. He was Chinese, but born abroad. In his early 40s, handsome, warm and energetic, he could easily attract anyone in the class. So, I didn’t pay much attention to my feelings for him. I thought I just admired his excellent English, wonderful intonation and humor. But as time went by, I found myself thinking about him all the time.
As I am a top student in the class and very active, we got closer to each other. We talked in class, and chatted with each other by e-mail. I liked him silently but he didn’t know it at all.
At the end of May, our school held an English speaking contest; I took part in it and won. He walked towards me as soon as the speech finished. He shook my hands and said softly “congratulations Eve! I am proud of you!” I could feel how excited he was. I caught the chance and asked him “May I hug you?” He agreed with sweet smiles. His hug was tight and warm. I was too excited to sleep that night because of the simple hug.
One day I was typing at the Dean’s office when the bad news came that he had a car accident on his way to school. I was in tears all of a sudden, and immediately gave him a call. He said he was okay, and thanked me for my concern. I couldn’t set myself at ease until I knew he was safe. It was then I realized that I had fallen in love with him. That afternoon, we went out for coffee. I asked him whether he sometimes felt lonely because his family was far away. He answered: “as a good man, no matter what happens, you shouldn’t leave your wife and let your children grow up in a divorced family.” I was deeply moved by his words.
When I came back to my dorm, I made up my mind. I sent him an e-mail telling him of my love for him. Although his reply said we couldn’t go any further because he is 23 years older than me, we still met each other once a week. We talked to each other happily, and sometimes we hugged and kissed. We walked hand in hand. I was sure he liked me and he once told me that he enjoyed being together with me.
Then summer vacation came. He didn’t give me a call, not even a single message during the whole vacation. Although I called him telling how much I missed him, he always had excuses not to see me.
I tried to force myself to forget him, but all my efforts failed. In fact, my love for him didn’t fade but grew with each passing day. I knew he was married. Though it was not my intention to break up his family, I care about nothing but his love.
My life will get worse without him, but anyway, I wish him happiness, and I just want him to know:
Robert, I will always remember your kind caring, warm hug and piercing eyes. Above all, I’ll love you for the rest of my life, you and no others!
★Broken crystal dream
I’ve realized that love is like a crystal ball, beautiful, pure, shining, but easily broken. When love confronts reality, trouble follows.
He is my former high school classmate. He is not very handsome, but his smile is lovely and warm. We used to be good friends. I dreamed of being a journalist and studied hard. But I didn’t do well in the college entrance examination. I didn’t score high enough to get into my first choice university and major. I was so sad.
During the whole summer vacation, he comforted me. I felt there was something special between us, but neither of us spoke out about our love. He started attending a famous military academy in Beijing, but I went to a common university in Xi’an.
When the new term began, we had to say goodbye. The moment I got on the train, I wanted him to tell me he loved me. But he just whispered something and looked into my eyes.
Several days later, I received a package from him. There was a beautiful crystal heart and a card inside. The card read: “if this crystal heart stands for my love, will you accept it?” I rushed to give him a call. I cried with happiness. Our love began.
Distance never was a problem for us. We cherished every minute we spent together. The days passed like floating water, and our love never faded.
But one thing troubled me. He always tried to arrange everything for me. He wanted to marry a woman who could always be at his side. He told me I should be a teacher. But I still dreamed of becoming a journalist with a risky but interesting life. We tried to persuade each other but failed. We began to quarrel.
Last December, a news agency in shanghai hired me. I was so happy. But when I broke the news to him, he was cold.
“Jolin, don’t be so selfish, please think more for our future. I have asked my father for help. He will help you to be an English teacher in a key middle school in Beijing.”
“But you know to be a journalist is my dream.”
“Dream, dream, you only know to dream. “He interrupted me angrily. “What about our future? Stop day-dreaming. I don’t think a graduate from your university can find a good job in shanghai!”
“I hung up the phone and cried silently. His last words were really insulting. I cried, but then I wiped away my tears and made a decision.
I wrote a letter to him.
“Honey, I love you. But my dream is finally coming true, so I won’t give it up. You decide everything for me and never ask for my opinion. I am tired of it. Without dreams, my life will be a bird without wings. So please set me free. I’m sorry but I still love you.”
Now, I am working as a journalist. The crystal heart is still on my desk. When I am alone at night, it reminds me of him and the time we shared. Without him, my life is not as happy as before, but it is colorful and wonderful, just as I expected it to be. I don’t know whether my choice is right or wrong, maybe only God knows.